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Home Education Magazine
May-June 1998 - Articles
Voice of an Autodidact
Lindsey Johnson
Some things make me wonder what this country is striving for... one of those things is school. I do not understand why we would want to take children away from their families and force them to learn and to learn our way. I do not understand why we would want to separate information into "subjects," tearing away all the connectedness of knowledge and teaching that everything is unrelated, something that is (obviously, I hope), untrue; to create abstract tests that in no way accurately measure intellect, or to give grades for something (learning) that should be as breathing, and not separate from life; to segregate ages, etc., implying that learning must be done away from all unless they are like you... that you cannot learn anything from someone younger or older than you, nor can you learn something from someone who may know more or less about something than you do (and vice versa). Things like these (and there are many many more), make me wonder about school.
I have been unschooled my entire life, my only brushes with school being in preschool and in driver's ed last summer. I've basically learnt whatever has befallen my curiosity and wonder... my parents have pretty much allowed me the freedom to choose. Only recently, though, have I become completely comfortable with this.
When I was younger I pretty much learnt whatever my heart desired. From building with Legos, sometimes with instructions and sometimes without, to reading a book a day, to writing to 40-60 pen pals, to publishing my own pen pal newsletter. Looking back now, I realize that I did learn a lot, almost always self-taught (except for when I asked my parents for help or found what I needed from books or other sources). But I always said that I'd go to school someday. My parents always said it was my choice.
Last year I thought I'd like some structure, so I enrolled in a correspondence course. Now, my experience may not mirror that of another, but I really didn't like it. It was OK at first, but then I started seeing the senselessness of it and the fact that I was using boring textbooks and taking tests that, even though I wasn't in school, controlled my mind. I had a stack of books to read that I didn't read because I was reading textbooks and didn't have any energy left over to read a real book.
Then I read Grace Llewellyn's Teenage Liberation Handbook, which pretty much changed my life. It made me realize that I don't need a requirement to tell me what I should learn or should have learnt by now, and I don't need a textbook or a test to show me I learnt or did not learn something. I don't need a grade to tell me if what I learnt was satisfactorily learnt, and I can take control of my own life and path. I'm sorry I lost that time I spent in the correspondence school which I could have used do important things, but I'm glad that I figured out, through not actually having to go, that school is not a place I would enjoy.
I've been around school people a lot. I've had people tell me that I should go to school or I wouldn't know anything or be anything. Then, I wouldn't say much...knowing what I know now, though, I'd love to get into a nice debate with them. I'm not so silly to think that they would automatically change their views, but I do believe that they might rethink them. I think a lot of people's opposition to homeschooling stems from ignorance. Then again, most people are just dead set against the freedom to learn on your own and to choose what you learn and if you'll have someone to help you. Oh, well...
I believe there is a beauty in learning, rather, in the learning you initiate, instead of something you do to satisfy a requirement. The beauty is lost when learning is required, and it becomes an arduous race to the finish when it should be a great journey. What is learnt and to be learnt should be the choice of the learner. When learning happens this way, not only is it more effective, but its beauty is more apparent, and it is more truthful. In compulsory schooling there is no beauty, for it is required. There is no heart in it, as there can hardly be heart in something that is compulsory. Would volunteering be as rewarding if it were required of every citizen? No, because no one would be in it for the joy, they would only be satisfying a requirement. It's the same with learning: when learning is required is it no longer beautiful, it is no longer spirited, it is no longer meaningful. Requirement deadens it.
I've often thought about this, while I'm hiking in the woods or browsing the bookstore on a wintry day, why would I want to trade this in... for a classroom? Why had I ever thought that I would want to? Well, in our lovely, pro-school society, some people would tell me that I could learn better if I traded in the Earth or the beautiful words for a stifling, spiritless classroom that controlled me. I wish they could see that that is not true.
I do find it disheartening that some people, when they are told how we unschool and that our learning is self-directed, say, "Well, that's great for you but I could never do it" or, "My children aren't that self-motivated...they don't have any interests."
First of all, you can do it. Somehow anything can be done. To live meaningfully is something anyone can do... all it takes is desire and an open mind and heart. Second, how do you know your children aren't that self-motivated when they haven't been able to follow their own beat... and have always been told what, how, and when to learn. How could anyone be self-motivated under those terms? The thing I have come to love most about unschooling is that I get to follow my own beat. We've never had school-at-home and that is wonderful. What I have learnt I have never thought of as schoolwork (except for the correspondence course). It is funny how some interests go in spurts. When I was younger I loved to read and I wrote little stories and poems. Then there were a few years where I hardly read or wrote at all... I used that time to do other things.
What I'm saying is how boring life would be if we learnt basically the same things every year, History I, History II, History III, and so on....That's incredibly boring and meaningless. Everything is interconnected, and it is not necessary, I don't think, to separate information. When this is done, all the whole interconnectedness of knowledge and information is broken. When information is fragmented into subjects and presented in pieces it is not whole... it is broken. Doesn't that make knowledge seem limited? This world is whole. According to school, it is broken into pieces and must be learnt about through fragmentation and ringing bells in the ears. That, I believe, is sad.
My mind has opened up tremendously this past year. Not only have I started doing the things I love and are important to me, but I do not question myself as much as I used to if my ideas do not correspond with the popular ideas. I have begun to realize that the world is whole, interconnected, and that learning is fun and wonderful. I have become stronger in my convictions and happier with my choices.
And it's funny, when I started doing what I enjoyed and learning of what I love and learning through living...well, everything started to happen. I suppose that only when one realizes that the only way to learn is through living does one truly start to live. I sort of wonder why I never went to school, as I said I would many times. The only explanation I can think of is that I knew all along that unschooling was what I wanted...that I didn't want to go to school...it just took me awhile to uncover what I knew in my heart to be true. Things seem so much clearer. I'm so much happier.
Now that I realize my freedom, I'm quite protective of it. At this point I am pretty sure that my life and learning will venture away from college... partly because my career choices don't require a degree, partly because I do not see a purpose for me to go, partly because, as I value my freedom, I'm wary of giving it up to a university. Right now, I do not see how college could benefit me. I shall let the whole world be my Harvard and my Yale.
I'm so glad my parents made the initial choice to unschool me. I do sometimes wish that I could have discovered earlier how lucky I am but I am also glad that I found out when I did. I can now proudly say that I'm an autodidact. Unschooling has become my choice now, but I would have never been able to make my choice had my parents not first "rebelled" and made theirs.
© 1998, Lindsey Johnson
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