|
Home Education Magazine
July-August 1998 - Articles
Homeschooling Re-Affirmation
Susanna Wesley
I just got home from a visit with a girlfriend and I feel like an alien who tried to describe my homeland to a foreigner. I am always leery about discussing homeschooling with people because I'm so afraid of being misunderstood, and I wondered if my explanation of how my husband and I homeschool our son, Charlie, made any sense to her. I told her about unschooling and interest-based learning and that Charlie learns through hands-on, practical life experiences which, for him, have purpose and fill an immediate need. I know I was feeling defensive when I said I was not worried that Charlie, at the age of almost 8, is not a fluent reader yet.
I felt defensive for two reasons: 1) her public schooled son, who is one week younger than Charlie, is an "advanced" reader for his age; 2) I have come to learn that generally children who have not learned to read by age 7 in public school are a concern to teachers and parents, and may end up in a Learning Disabled class for slow readers. The very thought of that happening to Charlie is frightening and angering, because he is bright and on the right track, and I refuse to pressure him into reading when it's something he will readily and easily do on his own, at the proper time. It can be challenging, I told her, to respect a child's personal and unique time-table when the mainstream public educational system has convinced so many well-meaning parents and teachers to accept a defined "age-appropriate" time-table for all children. After all, anything done in mass requires regularity and parallel progress among the attendees in order for the group to flow as a unit.
I cannot deny that my hidden feeling of defensiveness also arose from the fact that her son is a math whiz, a competitive star athlete, and that he just always seems to come in first, particularly in the public school arena (he also announced tonight that he got the lead role in his school play). Charlie, on the other hand, has been homeschooled since birth, is learning to read slowly at his own pace, is non-competitive and not presently interested in participating in organized sports, although he's an excellent swimmer. Charlie doesn't receive awards or prizes for academic accomplishments (his friend received a prize for having read for a certain amount of time this week), and he has a devoted but relaxed approach to his interests.
In short, our sons are worlds apart, but they like to play together. In the last two years my friend and I have become involved as families, and now that our boys are school-aged, our differences, where educational choices are concerned, are growing. She listened, but I could tell that her son's academic achievements are very important to her; the public education time-table mentioned above is something she believes in, and she values that measuring stick. I wonder if she feels uncomfortable now, too, and I know we must both be wondering if we can continue being close friends when we are increasingly seeing things so differently.
Perhaps the deepest feeling that predominates now, after having shared my educational philosophy with her, is the feeling of loneliness. I wander in this new homeschooling frontier, which is slowly gaining in population, but which is still very new and strange to many people. I used to worry that my son's achievements were being compared to the expected achievements of kids his own age, especially when people would ask him what grade he was in, or they talked about what their kids were learning at such young ages.
I have read many books about homeschooling, unschooling, the perils of early academic education and how children are hurried and forced to grow up too soon while being deprived of knowing and savoring the richness and specialness of childhood, how stressed out today's kids are, Howard Gardner's theory of the seven intelligences humans possess and the different learning styles that result from these intelligences, how Learning Disabled classes are mushrooming in our schools because so many children simply aren't ready - and/or their learning styles do not conform with the style of learning that school curriculums are geared towards.
I have read and read until I am almost sick of reading, and I recently reached a point where it was time to thank the information, thank the dedicated authors and researchers, and just be still with it all. Because the bottom line, after all the information is ingested and sorted through, is who my child is - he knows more than anyone else who he needs to be. I am more interested in how Charlie learns than specifically what he learns, because there is no end to what he learns. Charlie will always learn what he needs to learn in order to do what he wants to do. It is common for homeschoolers to excel in subjects they have never been exposed to before, if that subject becomes a prerequisite to advancing in a field that is meaningful to them. We all know how easily we absorb knowledge about things we are genuinely interested in.
I feel fortunate to oversee my son's education, and to watch how hard he works at achieving the many goals, small and large, which he sets for himself each day. I'm happy to give him time, especially when it means that he can linger and explore some sudden new "something" which he has accidentally discovered and in which he is completely absorbed. For Charlie, learning has never been separated from real life; it has never been defined, fenced, limited, tested, graded or judged worthy or unworthy of his time. And maybe most importantly, his "rewards" are the feelings of self-satisfaction, of the concrete knowledge that he can do many things by himself, and that self-sufficiency is something he is capable of. Every day Charlie is involved with math (cooking and baking, puzzles, Lego bricks, asking calendar dates, building with various mediums, measuring with ruler or measuring tape, sewing [something he is really good at!], drawing patterns for things he wants to make, and more). Other subjects bring just as many examples, all involving tangible, real life experiences.
My experience this evening got me thinking about when I first heard about homeschooling. I had imagined an old wood plank country school building filled with children of all ages who had walked a long way to get there! After reading some literature about it I was interested enough to keep researching. I began talking about it with my husband, Jonathan. Our research included discussions with a certain lady who has become a strong advocate for homeschooling here in our state. Eventually, Jonathan and I decided that homeschooling was right for Charlie, and for all of us as a family, for several different reasons.
First, we felt that Charlie's education should allow him to develop at his own personal pace, and that we, not a school, should raise him. We couldn't imagine our family being split up for 8 hours of the day; if we could help it income-wise (our home-based business has facilitated this choice). Secondly, we knew that Charlie is immensely artistic, and that this important and expressive part of his being would be neglected and possibly crushed by mass, conventional schooling. Thirdly, we have strong, personal spiritual beliefs, and we felt that these beliefs go hand in hand with family life and child-raising. Lastly, we are continually surprised and disappointed by the general attitude of mistrust that authority figures, teachers and principals among them, can have towards children. We believe that children are born innately pure and good, and that continual assumptions of mistrust, and expectations of wrong-doing and "laziness," create children who are resentful, mistrusting, and rebellious because they lack self-confidence and a sense of purpose.
Now, seven years later, homeschooling is a way of life for us. Charlie has never been to school and he doesn't have the comparison of mass, traditional schooling. By human nature he is endlessly inquisitive and incredibly productive. He works and investigates subjects of interest until he finds answers or his intellect is satisfied. We consider mistakes as stepping-stones, and he is not judged and graded on "right answers." Above all, Charlie knows himself and he's not stressed out. Throughout the day he is receiving positive reinforcement and the help he needs, as he needs it, to achieve his goals. His gradual and growing ability to read is interesting to observe because he is learning words from a variety of "grade levels," rather than just the grade he would normally be assigned at school.
Jonathan and I must embrace the subjects and activities that mean so much to Charlie. Some are easy, like art, cooking, gardening, taking care of animals, and his love for books. Others have been challenging, particularly for me, such as learning all about electricity and other scientific principles so that I can explain them to Charlie in his terms. His spatial intelligence is so high that I have to work to keep pace with his interests which involve schematic instructions like Lego bricks, electric board circuits, motors and power gears. It is because of homeschooling that his strengths and interests shine and grow.
I firmly believe a person should not be forced to be good at everything and that it's natural to have little or no interest in certain subjects. I think it's frustrating for a child, or adult, to be pulled away from areas of strength, passion and ability just because "someone" has determined that a certain level of proficiency must be proven in subjects that at the moment are meaningless and lack purpose for her or him. I say this knowing that, as far as the basic subjects covered in most schools go, a normal and involved daily life exposes all of us to all of those subjects, and that what children learn and gain comes continually through the experiences which unfold with their maturity. This unfolding is called discovery, and it is so exciting!
I think traditional schooling takes the joy out of "discovery" - the very element we encourage and praise when our babies become mobile and start to explore; we delight in seeing them discover their world. When they enter preschool and move on to subsequent grade levels, discovery by the child is put aside in most schools. Curriculums are imposed by the schools, and these curriculums are based on industry and marketplace needs, not on the individual intellectual, emotional, artistic, or spiritual needs of the child. It is assumed by most parents, teachers and school officials that children must be "taught," and it is taken for granted (eventually by the children themselves) that they are incapable of "learning" without adult, school, and teacher intervention. Learning becomes dead fare for otherwise curious and intelligent children.
If we read stories about some of our planet's great artists, scientists and authors, we find that many of them hated or disagreed with mass schooling because their deepest interests were not considered important and nurtured therein. Some, like Thomas Edison, were removed from school, and homeschooled where their interests could flourish. When a child's intellectual needs and strengths differ from the school's set curriculum and expectations for its students, then the child suffers in many ways. This anonymous kind of authority blames the child for not fitting in, self-esteem plummets, and who knows what happens from there.
I realize that no matter how much we homeschoolers believe in what we're doing, it's like any choice that involves making a personal decision: we must continually remind ourselves of what it is that we are doing, what our values and priorities are, and what our long term goal is. It's no different from going to a church, a spiritual get-together, or a support group of any kind, to strengthen our convictions in a vast sea of many different and often conflicting lifestyles.
I'm grateful for my homeschooling friends and the support and encouragement we are able to give each other. I have one friend in particular whom I rarely see, and our children don't have much in common, but we have a wonderful telephone relationship, and we're always sharing information. It is a valuable friendship for me because she and I communicate so easily, and we share the same homeschooling views. I have learned from meeting other homeschooling parents whose homeschooling views are quite different from mine, that it is so important that we all share an attitude of non-judgment and goodwill - because homeschooling is as individual as each child and each family practicing it.
I can say that as I homeschool Charlie I am myself being schooled all over again in a new way, and I cannot help but meet the challenge of getting to know more about myself. Socrates said "Know Thyself," and that is what humans have been doing since they first appeared on earth; we are simply carrying on, nurturing that instinct and that right.
©1998, Susanna Wesley
....(articles list) | columns list)....
HEM General Information
Subscribe to HEM
|
