My children were born natural learners, constantly exploring, questioning with a curiosity that gave me sheer joy to be a part of. Trouble was, as they progressed from being toddlers and ventured toward compulsory attendance and school age, instead of being a joyous participant, I began to lose some of that joy as I began to pay more attention to societal educational standards. Eventually those standards and the drive to test children younger and younger led my family to the homeschool choice. Still, it took many years for me to deschool and I’d like to share some past articles and deschooling resources for anyone looking to reach that deschooled spot sooner rather than later. If you have any questions or need help.

HEM Deschooling Articles

Decompression – Frequently Asked Questions by Cafi Cohen

Go light on the teacher aspect of home education. Don’t be the nightmare homeschooling parent, the one who insists on researching the country of origin of every piece of produce in the grocery store. Yes, it can make you – the parent – feel good to point out the educational aspects of everyday life. Your teenagers will probably find such antics more boring than the school they just left behind.

Instead consider spending time on activities both you and your kids enjoy. You have very few years remaining to share the same household. Learning occurs as a by-product of fun events – like travel and playing games and cooking together and outdoor sports. Enjoy – and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Interview with Luz Shosie and Ned Vare by Mary Nix

Whatever you do, be flexible. Kids’ needs and desires change. Be ready to let go of your ideas and go with theirs. They will always love you for the trust you give them.

Live with your children as though school did not exist. If your kids have been in school, take time off before starting any homeschooling routine. Children may appear to be “doing nothing,” but they are actually healing or detoxing. Parents may need an activity during this process. Find something you enjoy doing, learn something new. Your kids need to see that you have a life. You will probably be surprised at how much they are doing and learning. Do not hover.

I Am An Unschooled Adult by Susanna Wesley

Knowing what I know now, it is clear that those years were a time when I was “de-schooling.” I was growing up. I was figuring out that I had always lived from the outside-in instead of the inside-out. I had never heard of the disadvantages, much less the detriments, of formal schooling, so I had no logical explanation for why I was feeling completely lost in a great big world which was supposed to be full of opportunities. I felt stuck in time, as if I had no past and no future.

Dealing With Doubts by Janet Keip

When we first began homeschooling six years ago, I felt a raw defensiveness when someone challenged or questioned my choice to homeschool. Now I feel that same surge of defensiveness when someone questions unschooling. In the beginning, my conviction of the rightness of homeschooling for us and our daughter was firm. However, homeschooling was still too new and too fresh for me to easily articulate our philosophy.

Gaining Confidence In Our Homeschooling by Larry and Susan Kaseman

Homeschooling works because children learn well with the help and guidance of parents who know them well and care deeply about them. They can learn at their own pace, when they are ready and eager, so learning is easier. They can spend extra time on things that especially interest them, which motivates them. They often discover interests that lead to their life’s work. They do not have to deal with disruptive schedules that interrupt their learning, peer pressure, humiliation or failing grades if they make a mistake or haven’t learned something yet, teachers who do not understand or appreciate their strengths, a curriculum that does not suit their needs, approaches to learning that do not work for them, and other inevitable parts of standardized schools run by the government and designed to try to educate many children at once, regardless of their individual differences.

Dear New Homeschooler by Mary McCarthy

Notice how many ordinary people have written books about their successful homeschooling program. They’re just like you, having once stood in those same shaky shoes. that’s what you should be getting out of all those books: That ordinary parents, just like you, can achieve success in homeschooling. Each one found little tricks and experiences that helped them, and may help you too. But the basic message is that they all succeeded.

From Homeschooled to Homeschooling by Dawn Colclasure

If anything, the experience of being homeschooled gives these parents a source to turn to in times of distress–their parents. “I know from watching my mom and others that all homeschoolers go through the same doubts and if they just persevere, they figure out a comfortable and effective way of doing it for their family,” Humphries says. She adds, “That gives me courage on those doubting days.”

Revelations of a Homeschooling Mom by Carol Wanagel

It seemed like I wasn’t teaching them anything anymore, and yet they were learning at a furious pace. It became very clear that every time I started up with my assignments and lectures I was interfering with their education. Whatever I told them they had to learn, they slowly and painfully memorized, then quickly forgot. Whatever they wanted to learn, they learned instantly and for life.

On Self-Doubt - Lenita Harsch

Albert Einstein, The greatest minds of our century, felt held back in school and was considered a poor student. (I wonder if his teachers ever doubted their abilities when trying to teach him?) He later spoke of the need for freedom in education – the freedom to be curious and inquisitive, and to explore independently. His own education blossomed only after he took charge of K himself. No longer held back, his curiosity led him to new and wonderful discoveries about the universe.

Peaceful Unschooling – Charlotte C. Monte

Yes, I definitely have an opinion that unschooling, or child-led learning, or whatever similar term parents choose, is best for children. And I’m sure that for every person you ask, you’ll get a different definition of what unschooling means, and it may look vastly different from house to house, and even child to child. What I really think unschooling boils down to, in whatever form, is this: A peace, a harmony and a love of learning that does not get squelched over time.

Other Deschooling Resources

Deschooling for Parents by Sandra Dodd

Deschooling Society – Ivan Illach

I recall others asking if I was spoiling my children by homeschooling them, or damaging them somehow by not forcing them to follow the norm of leaving our home and following a rigid schedule. I don’t know what our interrogators thought our life was like, but we did have a schedule, chores and our own list of what we thought was important in an education and what we would do to help our children achieve their goals and desires. Still, having gone to school, I will admit that when public school let out I sometimes felt a bit less responsibility to make sure I was doing all I could to help my children ‘learn’. However, as the seasons passed, I learned to relax as if it were summer all year and I enjoyed seeing what the freedom to learn, live and explore offers a child and it was delightful. Below are some articles and resources that look at learning.

Playtime – A Time for Children and Parents to Share and to Grow – Amber P. Keefer

Studies show that some of the most creative children are those whose parents have played with them. From my own experiences as the parent of a highly active and resourceful child, I know how important it is for children to channel their creative energies into constructive and rewarding outlets. Child development experts remind us that parents are among a child’s first and best playmates, and for this reason, we must actually involve ourselves in our children’s play.

Learning from My Kids – Helen Hegener

I learned the value of learning, and I think it’s a lesson my kids will need to learn for themselves. Like so many things in life, it’s not something you can just tell someone else and expect to have any meaning , it really needs to be experienced, to have a context all its own.

Early Years Child’s Learning Assets – Linda Dobson

Homeschooling uses childhood energy instead of constantly trying to dam it. Now, curiosity creates interest, interest increases attention to the task at hand, and attention gives rise to learning.

Why Independence Is Essential To Homeschooling – Larry and Susan Kaseman

Homeschooling offers parents tremendous learning opportunities. Thanks to our children and our homeschooling experiences (both the stunning successes and the flops), many of us have developed a new understanding of learning, revisited and recovered from our own difficult school experiences, discovered or rediscovered the joy of learning, and done things that we wouldn’t have if we hadn’t been homeschooling.

A World of Learning by Barbara Theisen

I’ve never believed that the only way to get an education is to sit at a desk with four walls around you. The world is our classroom and our home – a 41 foot sailboat – takes us there. My husband Tom and I dreamed of sailing around the world before our daughters were even born. Their arrivals only increased our desire to live the “cruising lifestyle” – a way of life that has given us the opportunity for lots of quality and quantity of family time.

Educating our two daughters while living afloat on our sailboat, Out of Bounds, has added a wonderful new dimension to our lives. Kate is in sixth grade this year and our youngest daughter, Kenna, in third grade. Homeschooling hasn’t always been easy. But it has been fun.

Five Steps to Unschooling – Joyce Kurtak Fetteroll

And, finally, forget the linear approach to learning we grew up with. For instance, we learned that the way to learn is to read “all the important” stuff about a subject gathered and packaged for our convenience in a textbook and then move on in line to the next package of information.

Self-Inspired Learning - Karen Vogel

But, despite living an unremarkable existence in the depths of suburbia, my kids all manage, at one point or another, to develop an interest in a subject I never bothered to introduce. As most of my friends know, I regularly suffer paroxysms of guilt over my complete neglect of science as a school subject. Aside from having a birdfeeder outside our kitchen window, with a bird identification book handy (well, when we can find it) and a cheap pair of binoculars (which are often missing as well), my children’s parent-led science education is nothing short of woefully inadequate. But my oldest, at the age of nine, followed me around the house with a bird book, demanding that I read it to him. In fact, we ended up buying him the aforementioned birdfeeder for a birthday present. He has since developed an interest in gardening and botany, both subjects at which I am an abject failure.

The Many Faces of Home Education – Tamara Orr

During the summer of 2002 and 2003, I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to meet dozens of homeschoolers across the country. I came home filled with their enthusiasm, their curiosity and their wonder. I also came home knowing that no matter how many families I met, not one of them homeschooled exactly the same way. Like snowflakes, they may have had many commonalities, but when it came down to how they actually homeschooled, from day to day, they were each wonderfully unique.

Other Resources

Teach your Own by John Holt
I Learn Better by Teaching Myself by Agnes Leistico

When given the opportunity to break free from compulsory learning, older homeschooled children have the wonderful opportunity to follow their interests and passions. They can get the much needed rest their growing bodies need and enjoy the time to explore the world around them. Some go to college early, others travel, work or shadow others to see if they might be interested in pursuing a particular career path.

They are ready to learn, able to find resources, but most of all, when trusted they soar. Here are some HEM articles and other resources on older kids.

An Argument Between Friends: Compulsory Education vs. Unschooling – Shay Seaborne

While I was out of the compulsory education system for two years as a teen, I traveled in South America, learned how to samba and speak some Portuguese, made enough money to buy a boat, polished my sailing skills, wrote poetry and read gobs of books. I learned how to train horses through reading books and putting that knowledge into action. A friend taught me how to play basketball and carve wood. I taught myself how to snorkel and spearfish, read Euell Gibbons and applied that knowledge in the field. I also studied marine biology, oceanography and organic farming. I learned all of this because I wanted to, and because I had the ‘luxury’ of free time to pursue my interests as they arose.

Preparing Your Teen for His First Job – Carol J. Alexander

So give it some thought when your child is about 12 years old. What academic, social or practical life skills does he need to develop? Steer him in that direction; provide the opportunities for him to learn. Live such that, in your home education, life is preparation.

The Challenge of Older Children - Eileen Yoder

Now our children are older, and the drive to develop into adult human beings continues its work. Our kids want to expand their knowledge base, their experience of the wider world. They seek physical challenges which stretch their new, bigger bodies. They want to find out what they can do, and they want to do things they see adults do. They have become aware of the world and want to find ways they can move about in it as adults do. They want to know people from the wider world as well as their families and close friends.

Helping Your Child with Career Planning – Susan M Johnston

Face-to-face conversations will provide the broad view of a career. More helpful in gaining insight into actual job duties is job shadowing, a day of following a career professional as he or she goes about daily tasks. This is the inspiration for “Take Our Daughters to Work Day,” a national day of job shadowing for young women. Of course, job shadowing is beneficial to all young people regardless of gender since it allows an inside look at the actual work of careers.

Interview with Grace Llewellyn: Champion of the Unschooled - Neysa C.M. Jensen

Before the school year ended, I had several chapters of The Teenage Liberation Handbook written. I had saved almost enough money to live on, frugally, for a year, and I knew that what I wanted-needed-to do was write that book. I wanted my own former students-and all of the other teenagers I didn’t know-to realize that there was a whole other way to spend adolescence.

I moved to Eugene, Oregon in June of 1990 and spent the summer living in a student co-op with 25 other people. That was my vacation, my decompression. I sent out questionnaires to hundreds of unschoolers around the country, and while I waited for them to come back I went swimming, blackberry picking, danced and drummed on the roof all night, kicked up my heels and let down my hair, recovered from the seriousness and grown-up-ness of being a teacher.

Getting Started Package/Teen Years

If you’re wondering how to get started homeschooling, this helpful and informative package of resources will help you find answers to all your questions with the book Homeschooling: The Teen Years, by Cafi Cohen, plus HEM’s popular “Getting Started” Back Issue Pack and a six month subscription to Home Education Magazine, selected by Forbes Magazine as one of the best homeschooling resources, widely acclaimed for perspective, balance and unswerving quality.

Package includes: • The Teen Years • HEM 3 back issues • 6 month subscription •

Other Resources

• About Homeschooling by a Homeschooler
• Homeschooling Teens from the Organization of Virginia Homeschoolers
• Best Homeschooling
• Not Back to School Camp